• Q: What is the biggest ant in the world?
A: An elephant!

• Q: Why did the kid study in an airplane?
A: He wanted a higher education!

• Q: Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA?
A: Because it has 4 A’s and one B!

• Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!

• Q: What runs but never walks?
A: Water!

• Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
A: A Minnie van!

• Q: How did Noah see the animals on the Ark at night?
A: With flood lights!

• Q: What is the difference between a train and a teacher?
A: The teacher goes, "Spit that bubble gum out!" and the train goes, "Choo, choo." (Chew, chew.)

• Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo hoo
Boo hoo who?
Boo hoo hoo hoo
Stop it, you're breaking my heart

• Knock, knock
Who's there?
No-one
Thank goodness!

• Knock Knock
Who's there !
Ear !
Ear who ?
Ear you are, I've been looking for you !

• Knock Knock
Who's there !
Egg!
Egg who ?
Egg-citing to meet you !

• Knock Knock
Who's there !
Egypt !
Egypt who ?
Egypt me out in the cold !

• Knock Knock
Who's there !
Elephant !
Elephand who ?
Elephant A. Sizes about being a Hollywood star !

• Q: What do you get when you cross a werewolf with a dozen eggs?
A: A very hairy omelet.

• Q: Why did the toad cross the road?
A: To show his girlfriend he had guts.

• Q:Why do skeletons not go to horror movies?
A: Because they have no guts.

• Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine)

• Q: How do you join the navy?
A: Handcuff the sailors together

• Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle

• Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit !

• Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare centers

• Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray

• Q: What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A: Boo boos

• Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef.

• Q: What do you call a cat that had to much lemonade?
A: A sour puss!

• Q: What do you call an ant that skips school?
A: A truant!

• Q: Who is the bees' favourite singer?
A: Sting!

• Q: What's the worst kind of cat to have?
A: A catastrophe!

• Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China?
A: Chairman Miaow!